Thursday, April 19, 2012

{ the day I broke up with new york }

His name was New York and he was bold and fierce,
yet sweet and loving and I liked that he always kept me on my toes.
There were days when I thought I could never leave him
and nights when I longed for someone
who wanted a different life, far away from the beat of city.  

He was my New York and I wouldn't trade my days with him for anything. 
He taught me how to be me and not to worry about what everyone else thinks. 
He taught me to do things on my own and that it was okay to do so. 
He gave me seasons and gorgeous fall days and tulips in the spring
and cozy nights at home when I couldn't fathom putting on my giant sleeping bag of a jacket
just to cross the blizzard infested street. 
He introduced me to people I don't know how I ever lived without and experiences I will never forget.
He taught me that there's a whole big world out there and that we can all get along. 
He was mine for longer than I thought but some good things are meant to end. 
New York will always be in my heart...but it's time we go our separate ways.

Oh New York.

I've been writing this post in my mind for months now...knowing this separation was inevitable.  

New York is a hard place to leave, but it's time.  

I will miss the pulse of the city and all the characters that became a part of my New York.
My New York constants.
I never knew their names but their faces I will never forget.
The girl at the deli across the street,
the fruit cart guy on the corner who gave me a free banana once,
our favorite neighborhood wanderer with his nightly shouts of hallelujah, glory & I love you
and my favorite faces during my daily commute.  All part of my New York.  

I may not have been born in New York but I could call myself a New Yorker.  

I've walked up enough stairs and paid for enough cabs and have experienced enough
and loved enough of the city to feel like it was home.  

NYC has taught me...schooled me...and made me wise. 

Is there life after NYC? 

Yes. It will be different but a different kind of amazing and I'm excited for it. 

Years from now I'm excited to look back and remember that one time
when I lived in New York and the moments in my life that were worthy of a Hollywood film
about a girl and a city where dreams are made.   

My last night in New York City ended much like it began... 
over sushi with my cousin talking about life, dreams and the future.  

Goodbye New York, hello Reno!  


Kristin Lea Robinson said...

mkoI teared up reading this. If you continue to blog in Reno you let me know. I love you and NYC and I miss you very much but I couldn't be happier for what you have chosen and that you are marrying a good man in the temple.
I love you.

raul escobar said...

Fernie, I found in your words some truth that most people don´t know how to express.
Today is a sad day too, there isn´t in my life something that can substitute the day that I made my dreams come true. I too became a pupil of that city of lucky hustlers and aspiring poets,The New York Times as my text book and the corner of 42nd & 8th as the entrance of my huge classroom where I learned how to appreciate the minutest moment alive. I am all tears inside and one day I know I will explode, no more jogging in Central Park, no more riding the BX12 to take the number 1 more walks on Madison Ave,no more Merry Xmas for people from the other end of the world...very original Fernie, how hard it is not to live where some only dream of.